Guys and Girls, Part 2
August 10, 2019
Joe was not popular. He wasn’t a bad person, just not that outgoing. He came from a home that was less than perfect. His mom was always working, and he had to take care of his brothers and sisters when she wasn’t around. This didn’t give Joe much time for a social life. So he was surprised when Katie, a girl from his school, called and asked him for their math assignment. That one call grew into two calls. Two calls into a tutoring session. And pretty soon Joe and Katie became very good friends. Their friendship was based on wholesome communication, and they set boundaries for their friendship.
However, after about six months Katie broke the relationship. This was devastating to Joe. He really thought he “loved” Katie. When she left, she really broke his heart. He decided that it was better to never let anyone close to him rather than to suffer the pain of a breakup again. It took him years to open up his heart again, and when he finally did, he had a great deal of baggage from his relationship with Katie that he had to work through.
Joe often wondered if he could have avoided all of this by making a different decision. But once a decision is made and action happens, you can’t take it back!
When he told his later girlfriend-soon-to-be-fiancé about his relationship with Katie, it was very tough on her. You see, she wanted to be involved with someone who could be completely hers, and not have memories of other people he had loved. Sound crazy? It’s not, really. Think about it! Wouldn’t you like to be that special someone for your future husband or wife?
Keep in mind that no relationship is more important than your relationship with God.
Memory Text: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NKJV).
Our Beliefs, no. 22, Christian Behavior: “We are called to be a godly people who think, feel, and act in harmony with biblical principles in all aspects of personal and social life. . . . This means that our amusement and entertainment should meet the highest standards of Christian taste and beauty.”
Ellen G. White, Thoughts From the Mount of Blessing, pp. 76-78
Read 1 Timothy 4:12.
A group of you have decided to play miniature golf. Included in the group of people is a guy/girl you really like. At one point in the evening you and this other person find yourselves at the concession stand alone.
What do you do? You have committed not to date until you are a few years older. Can you think of any Bible texts that might help you here?
Read Ephesians 5:1-21; Titus 2:11,12.
In everything we do and in all of our relationships we should strive to be good examples of being children of God. We should always want to be our best and not give anyone the opportunity to disparage ours or God’s character.
How can you build your relationships with others in a way that is pleasing to God?
What are some things you can do to be sure you are living according to God’s plan in this generation?
Unscramble the following verse. This verse is from the New King James Version.
righteousness all 3 are times NKJV and those at Psalm who justice keep 106: who does he blessed
Read Philippians 2:15.
You are coming into a time that you need to think about what you are going to do about relationships with the other gender. Should you date? Shouldn’t you date? How far is too far? What makes a good relationship? What sort of boundaries should you have on your heart and your body?
There are many things to think about. While your parents will be directing you in this process, the truth is there are choices you will need to make. In fact, it is important that you begin thinking about and asking questions of yourself in order to prepare for your future relationships. And counsel is available—you can talk to your parents or a trustworthy adult in your life.
The good news is this: You have time! Now is the time for you to consider who you are. Think about what you want to do with your life. Then decide on the type of person you want to spend time with. You can begin to keep a mental list (or better yet, write them down) of things you are looking for in someone you might date. Remember, this list will develop over time. There are no princesses needing to be rescued and no knights in shining armor coming to rescue you. Relationships take time to build.
Take some time to think, set boundaries, and make some good choices before you begin. You want to have a clear idea of the type of person you may spend time with.
Look up the texts and verses, and then match them with the partial verses that are provided below.
Matthew 22:37, NKJV; Philippians 2:15, NIV
|1 Corinthians 6:19, NIV; Matthew 22:39, 40, NKJV|
|“. . . you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation’ . . .“|
|“. . . ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”|
|“ . . . ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. ’ ”|
|“. . . Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit . . . ?”|
Read 1 Corinthians 6:18, 19.
Review the memory text.
Who you are and what you do now is critical in determining who you will become and whom you will befriend in the future. If you admire in others high moral standards of purity before marriage, then it should be important to you to choose a life of purity now. If you admire individuals who are kind and caring, then you should strive to be kind and caring yourself. You can expect something from someone else only if you are willing to give the same in return. The choice of a special friend is not so much about finding the right person as it is about being the right person.
The question of boundaries is an important one to ask yourself. What are your boundaries? It is important that you guard your heart and your feelings until you are mature and responsible enough to ensure the safety and future happiness of your friend. How can your current actions affect your future relationships and your marriage? What is appropriate Christian behavior when entering a relationship with the opposite gender? Most important, do you invite God in your relationships with others? Does He approve of your thoughts, words, and behavior?
Remember that true fulfillment and your identity come from being a child of God, not someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend! Relationships are important, but the most important relationship is your friendship with Jesus!
Philippians 2 talks of becoming pure and blameless. While it is totally God’s work to be perfecting us, our job is to seek to be obedient to Christ in all that we do. That means in all our relationships, but especially in the relationships we have with the other gender.
Here is a list you can create to see what kind of person you are, and what kind of person you want to attract: Just fill in the blanks with character traits (honesty, integrity, joyfulness, etc.), and be as honest as you can be!
|I AM||I WANT TO BE||I AM LOOKING FOR|
Now, what steps can you take for three of the character traits you want to build into your life?
Character trait 1
Character trait 2
Character trait 3